Excuse me....I am having a rambling fest.

Lately, after dealing with the normal things in life that we deal with, I have asked myself "What are you supposed to be doing?" I immediately answered, hanging out around the house dreaming of the next wall color to paint and being a stay at home mom and wife. Then I woke up. I know that I am not a stay at home person. I say I am but I promise there is no way that I am going to hang out all day long and clean, cook and sew (I like doing two out of the three but you guess which ones) Besides, there is nothing but garbage on the TV during the day and Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Jerry Springer, nor Wendy Williams have the interest of me 8 hours of the day. When I am sick, it is ok because my brians are not functioning but alas, I am better than that when I am healthy. Dreaming is good. Wishing is good. Winning the Lottery is good. Being a normal domestic goddess is better. Trust me and work with me here.

I long to stay home with the dogs (my two and Ashley's) and be their servants. Let me out, let me in. Fill my food and water bowl. Move over on the couch. Hurry and make my bed so I can snuggle in my favorite blanket. HEY! Did you just open the pantry and NOT get me out my treats? What are you cooking? Are you going to finish eating that? Would you please flush the toilet so I can have fresh cold water? Pet me. Pet me more. I will make you pet me.

I long to stay home with the cats. Oh the Cats the low maintenence (cough cough) cats. Their food dish better be full or they scream at you. Their water bowls better be fresh or they scream at you. Literally. You never get to take a shower alone because they wait at the door and make feel guilty because they are outside your bathroom door crying. You had better make sure that Little Gray gets her outside play time or, like this morning, she will start eating a very important piece of paper. It was almost like she was saying "Ha! Watch this you people who will not let me outside" Hilarious. Simon is a Siamese Himalayan kitty who we adopted many years ago and that boy is about 10 lbs. HUGE! He came that way and loves to knead on you while you are laying down with enough force that he can crack a rib. Then there is Buddy who is the turtle of the bunch. Old and slow and not a care in the world except for you to get out of bed in the morning so he can have your warm spot. Buddy is an in your face cat and if he cannot get into your face, he will lay down and push his face against your arm so you cannot move.

I am convinced that I will never be home alone BUT.....can someone please teach an animal to dust and vacuum as that would be the ultimate and life will be grand. OH! and please teach them to make a mean vodka tonic and serve it to me by the pool.

The "S" Word ......PANIC!

Before I start, I want all my friends from the north to imagine living here in the south, where the "S" word appears maybe, and I say maybe, two times in the winter. The "S" word is something that sends panic into all southerners driving them to run to the store and buy eggs, milk and bread. We affectionately call it French Toast Day. Why do people feel the need to get those three items? I would think that beer, potato chips and cokes would be more fitting but no........eggs, milk and bread are the ONLY things needed at the market. The mention of the"S" word and the shelves are bare. Not a loaf in sight, ziltch, nada, none.

Schools here close at the first sign of a cold front coming through. Nothing has to fall from the sky and schools are canceled. CLOSED because it MIGHT snow!! Mind you, my family in West Virginia have over 2 feet on the ground and school is delayed 1 hour and all the buses are running. WTH?

This year, after the first mention of the white fluffy stuff began, we went to home depot and bought some items to make sleds so we can zip down our hill. Nothing elaborate, just something that can accommodate Andrew and Alex (and Mike and I) when the precip appears. Marlite and good old fashioned rope. Forget the expensive discs, the slick sled did the job! Then........it happened! It snowed about 4 inches....woo hoo! School was closed, businesses were closed and we were out to play! The boys played for about an hour before they started to freeze. You see, here in the south, we do not have the heavy boots and down jackets so we have to layer jackets and put 3 pairs of socks on covered by a duct taped wrapped Ziploc bags. No lie......True Story.



The boys each built a snowman which was riddled with leaves, nasty dirty leaves. I call it a southern snowman as I tried to brush the leaves off so their snowmen would not look like a dalmatian puppy. Tsssk Tsssk.

Curse the "S" word they say! How can anyone hate snow? I am Southern by location but I am a Northerner at heart. I love snow, I love to be out in it, I love to stand out in the silence of the night and listen to the snow. I love when the meteorologists predict snow and this year, I MADE SNOW CREAM, something I was very proud ! Don't get me wrong, I still laugh at the southern folk who freak out and I love to pretend I am one of them.......its a good excuse to leave work early!

The next time you are in the middle of a snowfall, take a minute to go outside and listen. That "S" word is a gift from God.

Ashley and her New Nashville Adventure

How many of you have had children move away? How many of you wish you children would move away?

Ashley, our 27 year old daughter, has made a decision to and has moved east to Nashville to go to school and prayerfully, in a few years, begin a career in nursing. Nashville is not too far from us but in the eyes of a mother, it is a million miles away. I knew it was coming but if you know me and it is NOT in my face, it is not happening. Well, it happened all during the week of Christmas and New Years.

Now, who moves in the middle of a Holiday? Ashley does. There is shopping and wrapping and holiday parties to attend. But Ashley is moving. There is baking and cooking and hiding gifts and family visits and decoratingto do, but Ashley is moving. I can say that now since she is gone but I swear, I wanted to SCREAM! (As she more than likely did too) Bless their hearts, she recruited help from her friend Hope, her sister Natalie, Natalie's friend Lisa, myself and her Poppa, friends Jake and Chad and Andrew, who helped moved a washer and dryer (Andrew weighs 68 pounds soaking wet). At one point, her Untin John even showed up with a trailer! So even after all the fussing, she did have help. Please do not even let me forget her Aunt Victoria...the cleaning queen who was there with rags, cleaning supplies and the vacuum cleaner that Mike threatened to do bodily harm to her with. No one died in the process but the cats absolutely thought we were doing an reinactment of Hiroshima.

Mom and Dad and Andrew Waving Bye Bye to Ashley

After finishing the packing, Ash finally pulled down I-40 on Tuesday, the 4th of January. We met and cried and I made her promise to make all the right decisions and giving her the "I know this is the perfect opportunity" talk. I do know this is right for her, but I dont like her being three hours from her mom. As she left, she handed me a Jared's bag (SHE WENT TO JARED'S) with a charm called Lotsa Love which I think she just wanted me to cry more.

Luckily, both she and I have great friends in Nashville who sent their phone numbers to her "just in case" so she really does have a million eyes and helping hands in her new adventures. Her BFF Patty is 2 1/2 hours from her and her sister Kinsey will be attending MTSU in the fall which is 1 hour away.

The most important hands around her are the hands of our Lord and Shepherd and I ask that everyone continues to pray for her and her focus.

Be warned my friends..... your child will go from tiny to an adult with a HUGE Margarita in a blink of an eye.

Good Luck, Congratulations, God Speed and here's to you Baby Ashley!

HO HO HO...... is a BLAST!

Let me tell you this......there is nothing so neat as playing Santa and Mrs. Claus for children of all ages.

Mike was asked to be the Jolly Man in 2009 at a country club and of course, I had to be part of the package deal because I was NOT going to miss out on the fun. Amazingly, the suit worked great for this Santa but he had to add the extra padding to make it look like he has been eating well for the long trip to around the world. Ashley's good friend Alysia, worked her magic on the sewing machine and created a beautiful dress for Mrs. Claus to help Santa with the little boys and girls. And so it began....... what we think is the COOLEST couple to ever come out of the North Pole. (Besides Rudolph and Clarice because they were sweet)

The kiddos are so excited to see him and that HO HO HO is one of the best I have heard. (Pssst, if you see Mike, ask him to let our his Christmas chant.......it is real!) Of course, there are those who were very frightened but for the most part, these little boys and girls lit up when they saw him and jumped right up onto his lap to share their stories, wants and Christmas wishes. This year, there was one sweet little girl who wanted Santa's beard. Nothing else, just his beard. Luckily, this Santa knows alot about toys because he asked all the right questions to all the children who were stumped. How about Legos? Harry Potter, Star Wars or Atlantis? He told the girls about Tangled Barbies, Zoobles and Breyer horses. (I think he even impressed the moms and dads!)

The questions and little whispers were the best. Santa was asked....... why does Christmas come, how old are you, where is your sleigh, why do you wear gloves, what do your reindeer eat and he was given the cutest letter from one of the little girls who melted our hearts telling him she was a good girl and would he please bring a blanket for her dog Dixie. At one point, two 30 year old men sat on his lap! Santa got pretty smily when he had two beautiful 30 year old ladies plop down too. During this time, Santa cannot refuse a customer. One driving aged young lady asked for a winter car. What the heck is a winter car?

This is something we look forward to and this is our 2nd year. Hopefully, they will let us continue this tradition in the future and I think that this might be a calling for retirement ages. Maybe in some mall in Florida or a mountain hideaway in East Tennessee! You never know but all I can say is..... He sees you when you're sleeping, he know when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes~!

Christmas is Comin'

Brace yourselves folks.....it's a coming, it's a coming, ready or not, it's a coming!

I love this time of year, the lights and colors, the sparkles and glitter, the trees and cold weather. BUT.....dun dun dunnnnnnnnn, there is one thing that I am not fond of. The shopping, the retail stores and the crabby employees whom I happen to get after they have just had an argument with the previous consumer. Sigh. Therefore, I choose to frequent my favorite site, Amazon.com. I have no idea what I would do without them. I am so a fan of Amazon that the UPS man who delivers to my office walks in and says "Guess who this is for" and has worn a path to my door. The corner of my office looks like I am a corrugated box saleperson rather than a print sales person and I am hoping for the happy wrapper (not rapper) to pay me a visit. (Any takers?)

This past week, while I was at the mall with my sister and my daughter Ashley, Mike assembled the tree and that was step one. (I will have to say this, one tree went up as the mice in our shed have decided that the dining room tree made a nice chew toy and a place to deposit unmentionables). Two days later, I put on the lights because I am so darn anal about that and I have to do it every year. Who woulda' thought? Hopefully, this evening and the weekend will be spent making our home a beautiful reflection of the season. Hopefully I say because I still have a naked tree in the corner of the house.

Then there is the problem of our kitties. Simon (the giant cat) and Lil' Gray, the little girl, love the tree. Simon likes to sit under the tree and munch on the branches. If you are not a cat owner, you have to understand that cats do not resond to the word NO, or strong tones. They just stare at you like ...SHUT UP, I'm busy chewing on this tree. I am hoping that the tree can withstand the team of S & G. Hey, that could be a new wrestlin' tag team!

Truly, I am anxious to see what the weekend will bring.

Merry Christmas....let the countdown begin. Now, go decorate and share pictures!

Happy Fall! Amen Sista!

Let me start by saying this has been the most miserable, hot, sticky summer I have ever experienced. Period. No one will argue or tell me that I was wrong because this *^%@&$##@ HEAT made a complete and summer long stall right over Memphis Tennessee. Therefore.... YEAH FALL! Amen Sista.

Fall or Autumn, call it what you may, it brought relief in Tennessee. This weekend, we attended a football game at the University or Memphis (pityful game) and actually we were cold! No sweat, no sticking to the person sitting next to you and no crankiness. Just a cold breeze and 55 degrees which required two shirts to be worn. Amen Sista.

This is the time of year in which I get happy and smile and become active, sort of like the opposite of a snake. The chillier it gets, the better I am. I snicker at the people who tell me that they HATE the cold weather and love the hot. My typical answer is, in the cold, I can put more clothes on but I DOUBT it if you want me to remove my clothing and see me naked...(LMAO) Can I get an AMEN Sista?


The color of Fall is God's special gift to us as he paints the leaves on the tree for our enjoyment. Who could deny that? The smells of bonfires, the crunching of leaves, the taste of Apple Cider and unpacking my favorite hoodies sure beats the heck out of the sun frying our bodies and trying to escape the heat under an umbrella...why bother? Amen Sista!

Enjoy this weather and thank God for the Seasons. I love the state of Florida during vacation but you can have it 24/7.

AMEN SISTA!

Poson Ivy - Chapter 4 - 2010

There are several things that I despise to the point of crawling in a hole and covering up but, the list just grew. 1) Mosquito Bites 2) Throwing Up 3) The word Phlegm and now 4) Poison Ivy. Yes, I said it .... POISON "*#(R&#*#e) IVY

I have contacted the "P" word again. And please do not dare say the words, "Don't you know what it looks like to avoid it?" Yes I know what the hell it looks like and I sure as heck do not go and look for the stuff to rub it all over my body to feel this horrible and itch like there is no tomorrow. I may be a freak in some things (like vacuuming) but not with Poison Ivy. Anyway, Saturday, the weather was so perfect that Mike and I were working on the yard, cutting trees, edging, weeding and trying to finally get into the flower beds and not melt from the 120 degree Memphis heat. We did this on Saturday, as I was leaving for an overnight in Nashville on Sunday. Nice day, no sign of the dun dun duunnnnnnn PI. I will call it PI now as it is painful to say.

Nashville was a blast and no sign of the dreaded rash until Sunday night, about 10, in the middle of the Bon Qui Qui comedy show, my eyes started feeling funny. OK, I was thinking I was tired and the night went on. 3 am bedtime and then 8:00 wake up call to OMG OMG OMG the MIRROR~ I grabbed a cold rag and laid on the couch until the others awoke and I promise if they could have screamed, they would have. Go to sleep with Tina and wake up with a) basset hound (thanks Ash) b) Buddha (thanks Alysia) and c) the Elephant Man (Thanks Toni) You get my drift. Ugh.

So off to the doctor I go to get the 4th shot of the year and the med pack thingy. I have frequent flier miles in the PI department and maybe I can get a free flight soon. The Doctor even gasped when she walked in because I have the worst reaction and it is mostly in the face. Little slits in the eyes. Lips so swollen that I look like the poster child for BOTOX gone bad. I am so over this crap. It is now Tuesday and although the swelling has gone down about 50%, the PI itch has spread to many other locations.(not mentionable) and I wonder if I should try to go in the office and scare my friends. Why can't this happen during the Halloween season? I would win the most believable horror costume!

And one more thing...that Aveeno oatmeal bath crap, is a joke. It stinks and next time I will just add oats to the water with a little sugar and raisins and eat oatmeal cookies until I feel better.

The End!

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Skating... Roller Skating and anyone over the age of 40 is a cry for the classic line, "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!"

Saturday evening, the Cub Scouts had an outing called Skate into Scouting just to welcome the boys back and welcome the new boys into the Pack 260 of Brighton TN. We gathered up Andrew and the cooler or drinks and off we headed to the Munford Skating Rink (what you say, Munford has a skating rink?) Of course, put about 40 boys and their parents in that area it immediate chaos. IMMEDIATE. Kids on the floor changing into skates, parents trying and I repeat trying to wrangle their little dudes in and parents just watching in silence becasue NO ONE was listening. NO ONE I say! There was no telling where Andrews Crocs went until the end of the night and then it was process of elimination at that time. How do you spell eenie, meenie, minee, mo?

Any who, for those who know my sweet husband, he is 6'4" without his shoes on, so add a pair of traditional size 13 skates with those rollers on and DANG, My hubby was about 6'8" ....at least. I had no clue he was doing this but he did it and I looked up and there was the tallest skater I had ever seen. Just about stopped everyone in their tracks. "Mikes on skates, Mikes on skates" was the cry coming from the adults. All I did was make the sign of the cross and hoped he would be at work Monday morning without a cast.

He started out shaky and slow, very slow and when you are a leader, the little guys tend to use you as a stopping post so I was totally worried. He did great over time, going faster and growing more confident and I have to admit, I was impressed. And then it happened...... dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmm, KERPLUNK! There he went, down in all his glory! And all the friends there were watching but instead of helping him, all they did was yelled "TINA TINA, get the camera, MIKE FELL"! Poor baby, *click* poor, poor baby *click*. The nerve of them! LOL.

Today is Monday and I have watched him trying to hide his swollen left ankle to the point that I told him to go to have it check out becasue as much as we do not want to admit it. 43 year old bones are much weaker than 16 year old bones. But denial is not just a river, RIGHT?

Help us! We are Melting in Memphis!

Can it be any hotter? Can I get any crankier? Can the Ozone Layer be gone?

The forecast today is 100, and 101 tomorrow and 103 the next day. WTH? Where do I live and why do I live where it is sweltering? There is no way to cope with these God awful temps and do not tell me that the longer you live here, you get used to it because it has been 11 years and I am not used to it. BUZZ....time up!

Yesterday, the family tried lounging in the pool all day and it was too hot to do that because the 100 degree temps (which mind you was 117 in the sun according to the devilish thermometer) was making the H2O temps about 99 degrees. Finally, thanks to Kinsey and Mike, the bright idea came to their head and Mike hooked up the sprinkler in the flower bed to spray out way and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh raining relief was upon us. Who cares that it was raining on us, it was finally cool!

It is too hot to mow,(grass is frying) too hot to cook out,(who wants to be in front of a fire breathing grill) too hot to get the mail,(sorry about the mortgage being late) too hot to cuddle, (sorry Mike and puppies) too hot to send the kids out to play, (thank you mind enhancing drugs so I can cope) too hot to drive, (the steering wheel will erase your fingerprints) too hot for the devil (I heard he was periodically coming up for air)

So when they say : Residents and visitors are encouraged to drink plenty of fluids...stay out of the sunshine... check up on the elderly and stay in an air conditioned location if possible LISTEN TO THEM!!!

“The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it.”

Home at last....but not without labor.

We made it home on Saturday night after our vacation to West Virgineeeee and without hast, starting pulling all of the suitcases, boxes and extras out of the car in loading them into the house. My sister Victoria just about threw Alex and all of the things out of her car and hastily drove off to Arkansas (smart lady). Home at last, home to the Little Grey kitty who loves her mommy, home to the two dogs, Roxy and Raven who just started to fall into a state of mope after one week (that is all they can take apparently), home to the screaming Siamese and Himalayan cat named Simon who has a very very large mouth. Home to a massive amount of garden vegetables that needed tending too and home to my bed!! Woo Hoo!

I tried to acclimate myself to the house after living in a rental house for the 9 previous days and of course, I had to look in the fridge for what was growing fuzz, or what was lacking as I planned for the next days grocery trip. You see, I am slightly ADD and I am always thinking on the next level. Andrew was in the house 5 minutes and off goes the pants and up on the bed he jumped for his marathon Military Channel session. Kinsey unpacked the kitchen items (thanks) and put things away so we didn't have to. We are gonna miss her when she leaves on 8/10. I will say our house shower felt amazing after the shower trickle wanna be that we dealt with for 9 days.

The heat is ridiculous in Brighton TN and after being in the mountains without a ton of humidity, I swore that my clothing was going to stick to me permanently. While in church on Sunday morning, I had the fear of standing up and my skirt staying in the crack of my..... you know what. Mike was quite amused at the direction of the air-conditioner after walking to the car.

We mowed the rest of the grass (thanks Benji for the head start) and pulled weeds, watered flowers and picked vegetables from the garden. Mike also discovered these sweet peaches (the real ones with the pits) on our tree and the figs are ready. Welcome home to the non stop life of the Brooks household. Welcome Home.


AMEN I say to that...AMEN!

Secluded in West "By God" Virginia....all alone, with 20 of my friends and family

Ahhhhh, we are here! In the mountains, all getting here within about 90 minutes of each other! We checked into our house, called Hemlock Lodge late into the evening and all staked out our bedrooms. There are 6 bedrooms so who was going where was quite the task to take on. All I know was that I was NOT going to have a lower level bedroom because I was going to keep my windows open at night. I did that last year and the black bear decided he or she was going to come into my bathroom and it was NOT going to happen again.

The house is large and laid out like there are actually two houses, one without wifi and one with. Guess which one is the most popular? YES!! And phone service?? Do not even try unless you are standing in the corner of the bedroom and on your head in the mean time. The day after our arrival, the dryer stopped drying with heat and the real estate company we rented from are not pleased with us (as Victoria, my sister) calls on a daily basis for a solution but until then, we take the wet clothes to my sister Lori's house for the drying. She is sick of us~ and we are sick of no dryer! Stupid.

I look forward to the 60 degree weather in the mountains while Tennessee is sweltering in 100 + temps, it gives me something to laugh about and brag about to my friends back home.

We have had great time so far, and it is always challenging with this many folks in the house.....sort of like herding cattle and moving from point A to point B. Dinner time is a sight to see and it resembles a dining hall for the masses. ( I know how Jesus felt at times) Food has been awesome, having spaghetti and meatballs, taco soup, meatloaf, bratwurst and burgers and soups. Ice cream by the cartons full and I truly consider this an eat fest and it is not the low calorie kind. Needless to say, detox will be the first thing on the agenda when we arrive home and I don't mean in the alcohol department (although...that won't hurt either) Has anyone every heard of Wild Turkey American Honey? I have become well acquainted during this trip and the little honey bees who worked so hard should be hurting and worn out by the time we leave.

Vacation...stress free getaway. Who ever said that is a freakin' liar. :-)

Vacation 2010 ...Can you Smell it?

Hells Bells! The time has finally come.

After planning since last July (the day after our last vacation) and booking our vacation rental house in January, it is here. Yee Haw! The "to do" lists are made, the boxes of what we have to have (slim jims and adult beverages) are ready and the suitcases are all laid out in a neat little row waiting for clothing to be deposited. Panic has set in for sure. Do I have enough shirts? Do I have enough pants? Do I have enough vodka? Do I have enough toilet paper? Please know, our vacation is in the middle of the great state of West "By God" Virginia and there is NO Wal-Mart down the street, only the small grocery store that will charge you $8.00 for a gallon of milk ....so you catch my drift right? We are so prepared it scares me.

We have four vehicles heading that direction, one from East Tennessee, two from West Tennessee, one from Arkansas and commercial flights arriving from Chicago, Tampa and Memphis. Bringing up the rear is the private plane with John in the pilot seat comes later because my bro in law is basking in the Mexican Sun pretending to be a pilot. (He loves when I say that) . OOOHH!....Chad is flying to DC on Saturday!

Our SUV is sure to be packed tonight awaiting the morning departure at O7:00. (Bet that doesn't happen) and away we go hoping to meet everyone in the mountains at around 8 pm on Thursday night at the house. I cannot wait to get to the area and stick my head out the window like a dog and smell "THAT" smell, you know, THAT SMELL, the fresh scent of God's Country. Of course, when we cross the county line and the sign reads Tucker County, a tear will fall (or sobbing will occur) as this is where it all began, my grandparents came to the USA in 1912 and landed in Tucker County, WV. My Dad was born and raised in Tucker County and now, my parents final resting place is Tucker County.

Maybe I will fine the time to blog while we are there as you know that there is NO going on vacation without the laptop(s) as I know for sure that there will be about 5 - 6 there! We are electronic fools but fear not~! My blackberry email from work will remain silent! WOO HOO!
V A C A T I O N !

This year, lets hope that I wont write about a stupid bear who is trying to get into the bathroom window in the middle of the night. I had enough of that crud last year! Happy Trails!

Webelos Camp Adventure and those they left behind.

Whew, after a month of waiting, it has happened and Mike and Andrew are at camp about 150 miles from our home. I was ok until I heard the stories about the legendary huge "Coonzilla" and the massive amount of spiders that visit the primitive campsite, inside the tent. Of course, this is nothing we shared with Andrew or his brakes would have been applied as Mike attempted to get him in the truck. You know the song about not liking spiders and snakes? Andrew wrote it many years ago while in baby heaven. Off they went and I was concerned because I was worried about no cell phone service in BOOFOO Tennessee. Thankfully, I received a text from Mike when they arrived and a call this morning from Andrew who proceeded to tell me about the 'military" style tents and cots and the outhouse that he was not going to go in! (By the way, I just got a text from Mike and the outhouse refusal did not last long....SUCCESS!!) Andrew also informed me that he was almost asleep last night when they trumpets blasted Taps (his description) and woke him up therefore he had to start all over again falling asleep!

Andrew loved the pizza and the watermelon for dinner last night (they have to wear Class A uniforms to dinner) and has a day of adventure today that he was jabbering about. After talking to Mike, I am sure this man is going to sleep for days after returning home because Andrew has already informed him that he wanted to do the "Death March" on Wednesday morning at 5 am. I am so glad that I am home with Kinsey, did I mention that??

Kinsey and I are taking care of business on the home front.... except last night a spider (apparently sent from Andrews campsite) decided to walk right up the couch next to me. Thank goodness Kinsey was there because she beat the thing with a flip flop........ and I mean brutally! The only think left was dust and legs. Where did it go? Weird.

Did I mention that we are going on vacation soon and I am going solo in the preparation - where is the suitcase? At Camp! Where is my helper? At Camp! So, Mike may not have any Underoos or shoes or razors or important essentials in the suitcase to West Virginia. :-) I will be plentifully equipped and maybe he can wear my stuff!