Excuse me....I am having a rambling fest.

Lately, after dealing with the normal things in life that we deal with, I have asked myself "What are you supposed to be doing?" I immediately answered, hanging out around the house dreaming of the next wall color to paint and being a stay at home mom and wife. Then I woke up. I know that I am not a stay at home person. I say I am but I promise there is no way that I am going to hang out all day long and clean, cook and sew (I like doing two out of the three but you guess which ones) Besides, there is nothing but garbage on the TV during the day and Oprah, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Jerry Springer, nor Wendy Williams have the interest of me 8 hours of the day. When I am sick, it is ok because my brians are not functioning but alas, I am better than that when I am healthy. Dreaming is good. Wishing is good. Winning the Lottery is good. Being a normal domestic goddess is better. Trust me and work with me here.

I long to stay home with the dogs (my two and Ashley's) and be their servants. Let me out, let me in. Fill my food and water bowl. Move over on the couch. Hurry and make my bed so I can snuggle in my favorite blanket. HEY! Did you just open the pantry and NOT get me out my treats? What are you cooking? Are you going to finish eating that? Would you please flush the toilet so I can have fresh cold water? Pet me. Pet me more. I will make you pet me.

I long to stay home with the cats. Oh the Cats the low maintenence (cough cough) cats. Their food dish better be full or they scream at you. Their water bowls better be fresh or they scream at you. Literally. You never get to take a shower alone because they wait at the door and make feel guilty because they are outside your bathroom door crying. You had better make sure that Little Gray gets her outside play time or, like this morning, she will start eating a very important piece of paper. It was almost like she was saying "Ha! Watch this you people who will not let me outside" Hilarious. Simon is a Siamese Himalayan kitty who we adopted many years ago and that boy is about 10 lbs. HUGE! He came that way and loves to knead on you while you are laying down with enough force that he can crack a rib. Then there is Buddy who is the turtle of the bunch. Old and slow and not a care in the world except for you to get out of bed in the morning so he can have your warm spot. Buddy is an in your face cat and if he cannot get into your face, he will lay down and push his face against your arm so you cannot move.

I am convinced that I will never be home alone BUT.....can someone please teach an animal to dust and vacuum as that would be the ultimate and life will be grand. OH! and please teach them to make a mean vodka tonic and serve it to me by the pool.

The "S" Word ......PANIC!

Before I start, I want all my friends from the north to imagine living here in the south, where the "S" word appears maybe, and I say maybe, two times in the winter. The "S" word is something that sends panic into all southerners driving them to run to the store and buy eggs, milk and bread. We affectionately call it French Toast Day. Why do people feel the need to get those three items? I would think that beer, potato chips and cokes would be more fitting but no........eggs, milk and bread are the ONLY things needed at the market. The mention of the"S" word and the shelves are bare. Not a loaf in sight, ziltch, nada, none.

Schools here close at the first sign of a cold front coming through. Nothing has to fall from the sky and schools are canceled. CLOSED because it MIGHT snow!! Mind you, my family in West Virginia have over 2 feet on the ground and school is delayed 1 hour and all the buses are running. WTH?

This year, after the first mention of the white fluffy stuff began, we went to home depot and bought some items to make sleds so we can zip down our hill. Nothing elaborate, just something that can accommodate Andrew and Alex (and Mike and I) when the precip appears. Marlite and good old fashioned rope. Forget the expensive discs, the slick sled did the job! Then........it happened! It snowed about 4 inches....woo hoo! School was closed, businesses were closed and we were out to play! The boys played for about an hour before they started to freeze. You see, here in the south, we do not have the heavy boots and down jackets so we have to layer jackets and put 3 pairs of socks on covered by a duct taped wrapped Ziploc bags. No lie......True Story.



The boys each built a snowman which was riddled with leaves, nasty dirty leaves. I call it a southern snowman as I tried to brush the leaves off so their snowmen would not look like a dalmatian puppy. Tsssk Tsssk.

Curse the "S" word they say! How can anyone hate snow? I am Southern by location but I am a Northerner at heart. I love snow, I love to be out in it, I love to stand out in the silence of the night and listen to the snow. I love when the meteorologists predict snow and this year, I MADE SNOW CREAM, something I was very proud ! Don't get me wrong, I still laugh at the southern folk who freak out and I love to pretend I am one of them.......its a good excuse to leave work early!

The next time you are in the middle of a snowfall, take a minute to go outside and listen. That "S" word is a gift from God.

Ashley and her New Nashville Adventure

How many of you have had children move away? How many of you wish you children would move away?

Ashley, our 27 year old daughter, has made a decision to and has moved east to Nashville to go to school and prayerfully, in a few years, begin a career in nursing. Nashville is not too far from us but in the eyes of a mother, it is a million miles away. I knew it was coming but if you know me and it is NOT in my face, it is not happening. Well, it happened all during the week of Christmas and New Years.

Now, who moves in the middle of a Holiday? Ashley does. There is shopping and wrapping and holiday parties to attend. But Ashley is moving. There is baking and cooking and hiding gifts and family visits and decoratingto do, but Ashley is moving. I can say that now since she is gone but I swear, I wanted to SCREAM! (As she more than likely did too) Bless their hearts, she recruited help from her friend Hope, her sister Natalie, Natalie's friend Lisa, myself and her Poppa, friends Jake and Chad and Andrew, who helped moved a washer and dryer (Andrew weighs 68 pounds soaking wet). At one point, her Untin John even showed up with a trailer! So even after all the fussing, she did have help. Please do not even let me forget her Aunt Victoria...the cleaning queen who was there with rags, cleaning supplies and the vacuum cleaner that Mike threatened to do bodily harm to her with. No one died in the process but the cats absolutely thought we were doing an reinactment of Hiroshima.

Mom and Dad and Andrew Waving Bye Bye to Ashley

After finishing the packing, Ash finally pulled down I-40 on Tuesday, the 4th of January. We met and cried and I made her promise to make all the right decisions and giving her the "I know this is the perfect opportunity" talk. I do know this is right for her, but I dont like her being three hours from her mom. As she left, she handed me a Jared's bag (SHE WENT TO JARED'S) with a charm called Lotsa Love which I think she just wanted me to cry more.

Luckily, both she and I have great friends in Nashville who sent their phone numbers to her "just in case" so she really does have a million eyes and helping hands in her new adventures. Her BFF Patty is 2 1/2 hours from her and her sister Kinsey will be attending MTSU in the fall which is 1 hour away.

The most important hands around her are the hands of our Lord and Shepherd and I ask that everyone continues to pray for her and her focus.

Be warned my friends..... your child will go from tiny to an adult with a HUGE Margarita in a blink of an eye.

Good Luck, Congratulations, God Speed and here's to you Baby Ashley!

HO HO HO...... is a BLAST!

Let me tell you this......there is nothing so neat as playing Santa and Mrs. Claus for children of all ages.

Mike was asked to be the Jolly Man in 2009 at a country club and of course, I had to be part of the package deal because I was NOT going to miss out on the fun. Amazingly, the suit worked great for this Santa but he had to add the extra padding to make it look like he has been eating well for the long trip to around the world. Ashley's good friend Alysia, worked her magic on the sewing machine and created a beautiful dress for Mrs. Claus to help Santa with the little boys and girls. And so it began....... what we think is the COOLEST couple to ever come out of the North Pole. (Besides Rudolph and Clarice because they were sweet)

The kiddos are so excited to see him and that HO HO HO is one of the best I have heard. (Pssst, if you see Mike, ask him to let our his Christmas chant.......it is real!) Of course, there are those who were very frightened but for the most part, these little boys and girls lit up when they saw him and jumped right up onto his lap to share their stories, wants and Christmas wishes. This year, there was one sweet little girl who wanted Santa's beard. Nothing else, just his beard. Luckily, this Santa knows alot about toys because he asked all the right questions to all the children who were stumped. How about Legos? Harry Potter, Star Wars or Atlantis? He told the girls about Tangled Barbies, Zoobles and Breyer horses. (I think he even impressed the moms and dads!)

The questions and little whispers were the best. Santa was asked....... why does Christmas come, how old are you, where is your sleigh, why do you wear gloves, what do your reindeer eat and he was given the cutest letter from one of the little girls who melted our hearts telling him she was a good girl and would he please bring a blanket for her dog Dixie. At one point, two 30 year old men sat on his lap! Santa got pretty smily when he had two beautiful 30 year old ladies plop down too. During this time, Santa cannot refuse a customer. One driving aged young lady asked for a winter car. What the heck is a winter car?

This is something we look forward to and this is our 2nd year. Hopefully, they will let us continue this tradition in the future and I think that this might be a calling for retirement ages. Maybe in some mall in Florida or a mountain hideaway in East Tennessee! You never know but all I can say is..... He sees you when you're sleeping, he know when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sakes~!

Christmas is Comin'

Brace yourselves folks.....it's a coming, it's a coming, ready or not, it's a coming!

I love this time of year, the lights and colors, the sparkles and glitter, the trees and cold weather. BUT.....dun dun dunnnnnnnnn, there is one thing that I am not fond of. The shopping, the retail stores and the crabby employees whom I happen to get after they have just had an argument with the previous consumer. Sigh. Therefore, I choose to frequent my favorite site, Amazon.com. I have no idea what I would do without them. I am so a fan of Amazon that the UPS man who delivers to my office walks in and says "Guess who this is for" and has worn a path to my door. The corner of my office looks like I am a corrugated box saleperson rather than a print sales person and I am hoping for the happy wrapper (not rapper) to pay me a visit. (Any takers?)

This past week, while I was at the mall with my sister and my daughter Ashley, Mike assembled the tree and that was step one. (I will have to say this, one tree went up as the mice in our shed have decided that the dining room tree made a nice chew toy and a place to deposit unmentionables). Two days later, I put on the lights because I am so darn anal about that and I have to do it every year. Who woulda' thought? Hopefully, this evening and the weekend will be spent making our home a beautiful reflection of the season. Hopefully I say because I still have a naked tree in the corner of the house.

Then there is the problem of our kitties. Simon (the giant cat) and Lil' Gray, the little girl, love the tree. Simon likes to sit under the tree and munch on the branches. If you are not a cat owner, you have to understand that cats do not resond to the word NO, or strong tones. They just stare at you like ...SHUT UP, I'm busy chewing on this tree. I am hoping that the tree can withstand the team of S & G. Hey, that could be a new wrestlin' tag team!

Truly, I am anxious to see what the weekend will bring.

Merry Christmas....let the countdown begin. Now, go decorate and share pictures!

Happy Fall! Amen Sista!

Let me start by saying this has been the most miserable, hot, sticky summer I have ever experienced. Period. No one will argue or tell me that I was wrong because this *^%@&$##@ HEAT made a complete and summer long stall right over Memphis Tennessee. Therefore.... YEAH FALL! Amen Sista.

Fall or Autumn, call it what you may, it brought relief in Tennessee. This weekend, we attended a football game at the University or Memphis (pityful game) and actually we were cold! No sweat, no sticking to the person sitting next to you and no crankiness. Just a cold breeze and 55 degrees which required two shirts to be worn. Amen Sista.

This is the time of year in which I get happy and smile and become active, sort of like the opposite of a snake. The chillier it gets, the better I am. I snicker at the people who tell me that they HATE the cold weather and love the hot. My typical answer is, in the cold, I can put more clothes on but I DOUBT it if you want me to remove my clothing and see me naked...(LMAO) Can I get an AMEN Sista?


The color of Fall is God's special gift to us as he paints the leaves on the tree for our enjoyment. Who could deny that? The smells of bonfires, the crunching of leaves, the taste of Apple Cider and unpacking my favorite hoodies sure beats the heck out of the sun frying our bodies and trying to escape the heat under an umbrella...why bother? Amen Sista!

Enjoy this weather and thank God for the Seasons. I love the state of Florida during vacation but you can have it 24/7.

AMEN SISTA!

Poson Ivy - Chapter 4 - 2010

There are several things that I despise to the point of crawling in a hole and covering up but, the list just grew. 1) Mosquito Bites 2) Throwing Up 3) The word Phlegm and now 4) Poison Ivy. Yes, I said it .... POISON "*#(R&#*#e) IVY

I have contacted the "P" word again. And please do not dare say the words, "Don't you know what it looks like to avoid it?" Yes I know what the hell it looks like and I sure as heck do not go and look for the stuff to rub it all over my body to feel this horrible and itch like there is no tomorrow. I may be a freak in some things (like vacuuming) but not with Poison Ivy. Anyway, Saturday, the weather was so perfect that Mike and I were working on the yard, cutting trees, edging, weeding and trying to finally get into the flower beds and not melt from the 120 degree Memphis heat. We did this on Saturday, as I was leaving for an overnight in Nashville on Sunday. Nice day, no sign of the dun dun duunnnnnnn PI. I will call it PI now as it is painful to say.

Nashville was a blast and no sign of the dreaded rash until Sunday night, about 10, in the middle of the Bon Qui Qui comedy show, my eyes started feeling funny. OK, I was thinking I was tired and the night went on. 3 am bedtime and then 8:00 wake up call to OMG OMG OMG the MIRROR~ I grabbed a cold rag and laid on the couch until the others awoke and I promise if they could have screamed, they would have. Go to sleep with Tina and wake up with a) basset hound (thanks Ash) b) Buddha (thanks Alysia) and c) the Elephant Man (Thanks Toni) You get my drift. Ugh.

So off to the doctor I go to get the 4th shot of the year and the med pack thingy. I have frequent flier miles in the PI department and maybe I can get a free flight soon. The Doctor even gasped when she walked in because I have the worst reaction and it is mostly in the face. Little slits in the eyes. Lips so swollen that I look like the poster child for BOTOX gone bad. I am so over this crap. It is now Tuesday and although the swelling has gone down about 50%, the PI itch has spread to many other locations.(not mentionable) and I wonder if I should try to go in the office and scare my friends. Why can't this happen during the Halloween season? I would win the most believable horror costume!

And one more thing...that Aveeno oatmeal bath crap, is a joke. It stinks and next time I will just add oats to the water with a little sugar and raisins and eat oatmeal cookies until I feel better.

The End!