Poson Ivy - Chapter 4 - 2010

There are several things that I despise to the point of crawling in a hole and covering up but, the list just grew. 1) Mosquito Bites 2) Throwing Up 3) The word Phlegm and now 4) Poison Ivy. Yes, I said it .... POISON "*#(R&#*#e) IVY

I have contacted the "P" word again. And please do not dare say the words, "Don't you know what it looks like to avoid it?" Yes I know what the hell it looks like and I sure as heck do not go and look for the stuff to rub it all over my body to feel this horrible and itch like there is no tomorrow. I may be a freak in some things (like vacuuming) but not with Poison Ivy. Anyway, Saturday, the weather was so perfect that Mike and I were working on the yard, cutting trees, edging, weeding and trying to finally get into the flower beds and not melt from the 120 degree Memphis heat. We did this on Saturday, as I was leaving for an overnight in Nashville on Sunday. Nice day, no sign of the dun dun duunnnnnnn PI. I will call it PI now as it is painful to say.

Nashville was a blast and no sign of the dreaded rash until Sunday night, about 10, in the middle of the Bon Qui Qui comedy show, my eyes started feeling funny. OK, I was thinking I was tired and the night went on. 3 am bedtime and then 8:00 wake up call to OMG OMG OMG the MIRROR~ I grabbed a cold rag and laid on the couch until the others awoke and I promise if they could have screamed, they would have. Go to sleep with Tina and wake up with a) basset hound (thanks Ash) b) Buddha (thanks Alysia) and c) the Elephant Man (Thanks Toni) You get my drift. Ugh.

So off to the doctor I go to get the 4th shot of the year and the med pack thingy. I have frequent flier miles in the PI department and maybe I can get a free flight soon. The Doctor even gasped when she walked in because I have the worst reaction and it is mostly in the face. Little slits in the eyes. Lips so swollen that I look like the poster child for BOTOX gone bad. I am so over this crap. It is now Tuesday and although the swelling has gone down about 50%, the PI itch has spread to many other locations.(not mentionable) and I wonder if I should try to go in the office and scare my friends. Why can't this happen during the Halloween season? I would win the most believable horror costume!

And one more thing...that Aveeno oatmeal bath crap, is a joke. It stinks and next time I will just add oats to the water with a little sugar and raisins and eat oatmeal cookies until I feel better.

The End!

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Skating... Roller Skating and anyone over the age of 40 is a cry for the classic line, "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!"

Saturday evening, the Cub Scouts had an outing called Skate into Scouting just to welcome the boys back and welcome the new boys into the Pack 260 of Brighton TN. We gathered up Andrew and the cooler or drinks and off we headed to the Munford Skating Rink (what you say, Munford has a skating rink?) Of course, put about 40 boys and their parents in that area it immediate chaos. IMMEDIATE. Kids on the floor changing into skates, parents trying and I repeat trying to wrangle their little dudes in and parents just watching in silence becasue NO ONE was listening. NO ONE I say! There was no telling where Andrews Crocs went until the end of the night and then it was process of elimination at that time. How do you spell eenie, meenie, minee, mo?

Any who, for those who know my sweet husband, he is 6'4" without his shoes on, so add a pair of traditional size 13 skates with those rollers on and DANG, My hubby was about 6'8" ....at least. I had no clue he was doing this but he did it and I looked up and there was the tallest skater I had ever seen. Just about stopped everyone in their tracks. "Mikes on skates, Mikes on skates" was the cry coming from the adults. All I did was make the sign of the cross and hoped he would be at work Monday morning without a cast.

He started out shaky and slow, very slow and when you are a leader, the little guys tend to use you as a stopping post so I was totally worried. He did great over time, going faster and growing more confident and I have to admit, I was impressed. And then it happened...... dum dum dummmmmmmmmmmmmm, KERPLUNK! There he went, down in all his glory! And all the friends there were watching but instead of helping him, all they did was yelled "TINA TINA, get the camera, MIKE FELL"! Poor baby, *click* poor, poor baby *click*. The nerve of them! LOL.

Today is Monday and I have watched him trying to hide his swollen left ankle to the point that I told him to go to have it check out becasue as much as we do not want to admit it. 43 year old bones are much weaker than 16 year old bones. But denial is not just a river, RIGHT?

Help us! We are Melting in Memphis!

Can it be any hotter? Can I get any crankier? Can the Ozone Layer be gone?

The forecast today is 100, and 101 tomorrow and 103 the next day. WTH? Where do I live and why do I live where it is sweltering? There is no way to cope with these God awful temps and do not tell me that the longer you live here, you get used to it because it has been 11 years and I am not used to it. BUZZ....time up!

Yesterday, the family tried lounging in the pool all day and it was too hot to do that because the 100 degree temps (which mind you was 117 in the sun according to the devilish thermometer) was making the H2O temps about 99 degrees. Finally, thanks to Kinsey and Mike, the bright idea came to their head and Mike hooked up the sprinkler in the flower bed to spray out way and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh raining relief was upon us. Who cares that it was raining on us, it was finally cool!

It is too hot to mow,(grass is frying) too hot to cook out,(who wants to be in front of a fire breathing grill) too hot to get the mail,(sorry about the mortgage being late) too hot to cuddle, (sorry Mike and puppies) too hot to send the kids out to play, (thank you mind enhancing drugs so I can cope) too hot to drive, (the steering wheel will erase your fingerprints) too hot for the devil (I heard he was periodically coming up for air)

So when they say : Residents and visitors are encouraged to drink plenty of fluids...stay out of the sunshine... check up on the elderly and stay in an air conditioned location if possible LISTEN TO THEM!!!